Afriad to fly
I've stood here on this hill
Afraid to try
afraid to let come what will

I've stood so long on solid ground
not reaching for the stars
Afraid my wings might fail
and I would bear the scars

Afraid to fly
I've stood here on this hill
Afraid to try
Afraid to let come what will



More to come, if anyone has any ideas for tweaking the lyrics or addng to them, I'm always open to suggestions.

That's what I've decided to name my Class A Mobile Home. I haven't bought the RV yet, I'm still taking my time and shopping, but her name came to me last night in my semi-asleep state. i'm going to get a custom paint job put on her, to mae her instantly mine. I'm going to have an image of a hawk in flight at twilight painted on the side, with the last rays of sunset painted on the nose. I want the hawk to be painted in 3/4 profile, with an amethist and terquoise necklace hanging from he beak, like she is flying it back to her nest.
Te interior I'm going to have done in dark panelling, with tinted windows, and an eclectic theme, of things that I draw inspiration from. The things I know for certain are going in the interior right now, are totemic dreamcatchers, Hawk (mine), Bison (my sweetie's), and Wolf (my sister's). Between my bedroom and the bathroom, I'm hanging the lovely wooden beaded curtain that currently screens my bedroom door, and the tapestries that are on my bedroom wall right now (one will go on my bed in the bedroom, the other on my sister's bunk in the cabin). I'm sure I will be adding various and sundry things I pick up along the way as they speak to me, but as to what they will be, I'm not yet sure.
Ive settled on certain mechanical specs as I've shopped. First, and foremost is a diesel engine and generator, so I can run off Bio-Diesel thus reducing the amount of environmental damage the "Gypsy Hawk" causes, as well as adding on an aftermarket solar panel to run the electrical ystem off of...the benefits ecologically, and in conveniance more than outweigh the cost of installing the array in my opinion.
I recently saw an infomercial for a hanging garden for people who live in urban environments to be able to grow their own organic non-modified produce. If they work as well as the commercial indicated, picking up a couple of them for the kitchen is definately worth looking into, as I love FRESH produce.
I know, for most people, a camper travelling most of te year wouldnt be a dream home, but it's been my dream since I was very small, being able to finally have the means to achieve that dream, that is beyond awesome.
I'm seeing some that I like on Ebay for under $10k, which is making me a very happy woman. I have until spring to shop for my camper, an I promise when I but it to post a bazillion pictures of it!!! (ok, since thats not a real word, maybe more like several)
I am happy.

*squeals and giggles* I just found out that I live not far at all from a custom bus conversion dealer...and he has on his lot presently two busses in my price range and style. Monday morning will find me on his lot, talking hard numbers and planning. I can't freaking believe how well things are falling into place for me. For the first timein 10 years I feel like I'm maing real progress and not just treading water, trying to keep my happy lil ass afloat. If someone had told me two years ago when I was at the worst point of my life that one day, not only wuld I be performing, but would have the resorces to tour, I'd have laughed at them and told them they were insane. I'm so glad now that some part of me kept my dreams alive, even when reality was trying to keep me emotionally numb, and incapable of hope. Life ROCKS!

It's in the 80's in Texas tonight
that's what I've been told
I'm stuck watching snow fall, so white
and freezing my ass in this cold

I'm wishing that I were on my way
down to the Rio Grande
Instead I'm stuck in this cold cold town
having to play out my hand.

They damned her for her differance
they chased her out of town
she wasn't wrong or crazy
she just had to stand her ground

She'd given up so many dreams
to try to make things right
but she never could swing it
so she drifted wild into the night

They wanted her to marry
and she wanted to live free
they kept asking her to change
into someone she wouldn't be

Doing dishes, washing laundry
wiping babies' little butts
That just never had been her dream
so the town called her a slut

She stood silent, on that morning
when he said it's dreams or me
she packed her bags and kept on going
better dead than live unfree.