I AM going to Austin a bit earlier than I'd been planning, and with a TON less planning. Word has come to me by way of aquaintances that one of the biggest events of my lifetime will occur when Kinky gets elected. I wouldn't miss this if you paid me. i'm on my way tomorrow! *does insanely happy dance*

They damned her for her differance
they chased her out of town
she wasn't wrong or crazy
she just had to stand her ground

She'd given up so many dreams
to try to make things right
but she never could swing it
so she drifted wild into the night

They wanted her to marry
and she wanted to live free
they kept asking her to change
into someone she wouldn't be

Doing dishes, washing laundry
wiping babies' little butts
That just never had been her dream
so the town called her a slut

She stood silent, on that morning
when he said it's dreams or me
she packed her bags and kept on going
better dead than live unfree.

It's in the 80's in Texas tonight
that's what I've been told
I'm stuck watching snow fall, so white
and freezing my ass in this cold

I'm wishing that I were on my way
down to the Rio Grande
Instead I'm stuck in this cold cold town
having to play out my hand.

*squeals and giggles* I just found out that I live not far at all from a custom bus conversion dealer...and he has on his lot presently two busses in my price range and style. Monday morning will find me on his lot, talking hard numbers and planning. I can't freaking believe how well things are falling into place for me. For the first timein 10 years I feel like I'm maing real progress and not just treading water, trying to keep my happy lil ass afloat. If someone had told me two years ago when I was at the worst point of my life that one day, not only wuld I be performing, but would have the resorces to tour, I'd have laughed at them and told them they were insane. I'm so glad now that some part of me kept my dreams alive, even when reality was trying to keep me emotionally numb, and incapable of hope. Life ROCKS!

That's what I've decided to name my Class A Mobile Home. I haven't bought the RV yet, I'm still taking my time and shopping, but her name came to me last night in my semi-asleep state. i'm going to get a custom paint job put on her, to mae her instantly mine. I'm going to have an image of a hawk in flight at twilight painted on the side, with the last rays of sunset painted on the nose. I want the hawk to be painted in 3/4 profile, with an amethist and terquoise necklace hanging from he beak, like she is flying it back to her nest.
Te interior I'm going to have done in dark panelling, with tinted windows, and an eclectic theme, of things that I draw inspiration from. The things I know for certain are going in the interior right now, are totemic dreamcatchers, Hawk (mine), Bison (my sweetie's), and Wolf (my sister's). Between my bedroom and the bathroom, I'm hanging the lovely wooden beaded curtain that currently screens my bedroom door, and the tapestries that are on my bedroom wall right now (one will go on my bed in the bedroom, the other on my sister's bunk in the cabin). I'm sure I will be adding various and sundry things I pick up along the way as they speak to me, but as to what they will be, I'm not yet sure.
Ive settled on certain mechanical specs as I've shopped. First, and foremost is a diesel engine and generator, so I can run off Bio-Diesel thus reducing the amount of environmental damage the "Gypsy Hawk" causes, as well as adding on an aftermarket solar panel to run the electrical ystem off of...the benefits ecologically, and in conveniance more than outweigh the cost of installing the array in my opinion.
I recently saw an infomercial for a hanging garden for people who live in urban environments to be able to grow their own organic non-modified produce. If they work as well as the commercial indicated, picking up a couple of them for the kitchen is definately worth looking into, as I love FRESH produce.
I know, for most people, a camper travelling most of te year wouldnt be a dream home, but it's been my dream since I was very small, being able to finally have the means to achieve that dream, that is beyond awesome.
I'm seeing some that I like on Ebay for under $10k, which is making me a very happy woman. I have until spring to shop for my camper, an I promise when I but it to post a bazillion pictures of it!!! (ok, since thats not a real word, maybe more like several)
I am happy.

Afriad to fly
I've stood here on this hill
Afraid to try
afraid to let come what will

I've stood so long on solid ground
not reaching for the stars
Afraid my wings might fail
and I would bear the scars

Afraid to fly
I've stood here on this hill
Afraid to try
Afraid to let come what will



More to come, if anyone has any ideas for tweaking the lyrics or addng to them, I'm always open to suggestions.

I've got the television on today instead of listening to XM Radio like I usually do. Oddly enough, I've developed a fondness for satellite radio, especially since "local" radio has been monopolised by Clearchannel and other commercial interests that are as far from local music, as where I live is from Nashville. Don't get me wrong, I love a lot of the artists currently getting airplay, I'm just bummed by the absence of venues for local and regional performers to get airplay. I really hate the way the music industry has become so preoccupied with style, and image over content in a great many cases. I'm not knocking the people who have put in the labour to get contracts with big name studios, and paid their dues, but it burns my backside when I see people who are young, pretty, and have the package that the media wants getting airplay before people who have worked hard, paid their dues, and have phenomenal talent either as musicians, singers, or songwriters, just because the "look" and the "package" are more marketable.
Oddly enough the local UPN affiliate has a really good musical showcase (the name of which I must get) that focuses on less mainstream artists. It makes me happy to have the chance to watch newer artists on independant labels actually having the chance to get their work out to the public, even without the huge media machine.
My challange today dear readers, is to hook me up with independant/small label artists who you think ae worth hearing. This is an open invite to pimp good tunes, so don't dissapoint me :)

It's all I can do not to jump onto every passing train, the way I did in my teens. I hear the music again that spoke to me then, but the voice to it is stronger, braver, and less easily dissuaded by harsh reality. When I was younger, I'd jump on a train, just to see where it would go, now, as an "adult" (though I'm not entirely clear on what, aside from chronology that means) I am supposed to be reasponsible. So far as I've been able to tell in the past decade, responsible aparently means sacrificing my dreams for wither the dreams of society, or do the dreams of the people I hold dear. I've been responsible enough for one lifetime, than-you very much. I don't have any desire to look back over my life, and realise that I peaked before I was 0, and that the remaining years were livd ut peacefully, responsibly, and in such a way as to bore the ever living shit out of anyone so misguided as to think of researching it. No, thanks. ive spent the last ten years taking care of someone else, putting my dreams, desires, ideas, and feelings after thiers. Even my writing has suffered, not wrting truth from my soul for fear that someone I based the lyrics on would reas it and be hurt. As a result, it's felt false to sing it.
This coming year will be a time for brutal honesty, both with myself, and with others in my life. My apologies to anyone I hurt, but I have to focus on integrity, in living as it is in writing.

I wish I'd moved to Texas this summer, so I could be voting for Kinky Friedman. Finally, a candidate that is not a politician has a chance of winning a real election in America, and even if I moved tomorrow, I couldn't vote for him....SUCKAGE!!!! Anyway, anyone who reads this, and lives in texas, please vote for Kinky for me. I'm with y'all in spirit, and hopefully will be in or near Austin by this time next year.

I'm so happy today. My guitar is on it's way to me from Oklahoma, and should be here by the weekend. I'm looking forward to having a decent guitar again, the action on the old one was just too hgh for me to make any real progress on, and according to Bobby, this one has a nice mid to low action, so it should enable me to practice for longer periods with many fewer callouses! It's my sweetie's early Xmas gift to me, and I have to say honestly, that the only better one he could have gotten me would have been a chance to go to England to follow a couple concert tours in January....but since it'd take too long to get a passport before the tour dates, it's probably a better thing that he got me a new guitar :) Hopefully in 6 months I'll have enough money put aside to buy myself a Martin...that's my goal, anyway. As it is I am happy to have the new Stagg coming. YAY Ebay!!!!
In other happy news, I've spent much of today on the Texas travel website, planning for the spring. There is nothing like planning for the spring to make the winter and fall more endurable....of course,, it may also help that the sun is shining out, and the temperature is in the mid 70's...after hitting the 30's last week, it really makes me appreciate the beauty of the warmer weather. I may have been raised up north, but I guess my Mama's Arizona blood keeps me from really appreciating the cold weather.
I'm going shopping tomorrow for new golf clubs to replace the set I lost in a storage unit fire a few years ago. Since the local municipal course only is charging 415 for a round, it makes me very happy to think of taking that hobby back up again. My sweetie is kinda disturbed by the thought...he finds my golfing, or as he calls it, hitting a ball so I can chase after it, swearing, a little odd, but hopefully I can convert him. I grew up caddying for my dad, and working on my drive in the back yard, so to me it's just returning to one of the simple things that makes me happy, kind of like taking up runnng, which although I love it, has made my legs loathe me. I need yo buy new running shoes. The old ones just don't have the support my out of shape arse needs to build my stamina back up.
My sweetie bought me a new bicycle two weeks ago, which I'm hoping to pull a couple of miles on this afternoon. I'm alternating that with my running until I get my stamina back up where I like it. Hopefully the weather will stay nice, and warm-ish for at least the next few weeks while I get myself back into a routine, because overcoming COLD and pain is really a deterrent to working out. I'm hoping to be covering 5 miles a day running by the first of the year. Right now I'm doing a mile a day (on running days) and riding 2.5 on biking days.
I feel productive again for the first time in AGES, and amazingly, with setting real goals, and planning my future, a lot of my dissatisfaction with the present has dissipated.
Oh, M*A*S*H is on, so I'll write more in a while.